“This rich and revelatory book offers us a rare gift: vivid narratives born of struggle and resilience, hard work and humor, and forged out of mutual respect, loyalty, and love.”—Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, EdD, author of The Third Chapter: Passion, Risk, and Adventure in the 25 Years After 50

“30 Lessons for Loving is a real contribution for helping us make important decisions about relationships, and nurture love once we have someone we treasure.”— Pepper Schwartz, PhD. author of The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples“

Couples of all ages will enjoy reading this book together and will profit from using this book as a guide as they develop as partners throughout the lifespan.” —Kathleen McCartney, PhD, President of Smith College“

Karl Pillemer presents the wisdom of the ultimate experts in relationships, those who have made love and marriage work over the long run by learning from their mistakes and striking a viable balance between their hearts and minds.” – Steven Stosny, Ph.D., author of Living & Loving after Betrayal and How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It.

“A must-read for anyone contemplating marriage. The knowledge and wisdom gathered from this huge group of elders is both modern and timeless. It is inspiring, insightful, witty, and often — surprising. This is everything about living — and loving — in a long relationship I wish my grandmother had told me. I highly recommend it for engaged couples and newlyweds.”— Amy Dickinson, “Ask Amy” syndicated advice columnist

 “As he dispenses concrete, practical advice on how to make the most of our lives, Cornell gerontologist Pillemer turns for answers to our elders—those he believes are the experts, with the enormous advantage of life experience, whose limits have been tested by illness, danger, failure, oppression, and loss. His approximately 1,000 Americans age 65 and older from around the country and many walks of life share personal memories to explain what is important for a long, happy marriage: for instance, marrying someone a lot like yourself, trying to give more than you want to get out of the relationship, and learning how to fight are key… Giving familiar advice a new spin by mining the rich resource of older Americans, Pillemer offers a refreshing, smart wakeup call about getting your priorities straight and living right.” — Publisher’s Weekly

 “Thank you, Dr. Pillemer, for gathering all this wisdom in one book before it is lost.  I can’t imagine anyone whose life will not be enriched by this book.” — Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People 

“This is a fabulous book! Karl Pillemer has done an incredible job of bringing together the collective wisdom of hundreds of Americans into an entertaining, thought provoking, and practical book. Give it a read. You will find yourself getting out of bed in the morning with new enthusiasm.”  — Matthew Kelly, author of The Rhythm of Life and Off Balance

“30 lessons for Living is an absolute gem!  Thank you Karl Pillemer for taking the time to collect such a valuable trove of wisdom, and for sharing it with us in such a readable book.  It’s one that I’ll recommend often.  All of it is wonderful, but I particularly appreciated the lessons on honesty and saying yes to opportunities.  Read this book – you’ll get more out of life and have fewer regrets.” — Hal Urban, author of Life’s Greatest Lessons