We are gathering advice from elders who lived through the Great Depression and World War II on how to cope with our current crisis. The Legacy Project is devoted to collecting and sharing elder wisdom, and we’d love to hear from you about how younger people can stay well and hopeful. Please share your lesson in the comment box below. Feel free to share your own wisdom, or advice that an elder shared with you.
(We have shared some lessons for living through a crisis after the comments box.)
My Grandma’s main piece of advice to the younger generation is to “find something you love to do and keep doing it.” She wants people to find that passion that when you do it, you can put everything out of your mind and relax, so when you have to go back to reality you feel refreshed. For my Grandma, that passion is music, but for some people, it may be cooking, sewing, or watching television. I think this is extremely important to consider. There are so many stressors around us in today’s world. We need to find something that allows us to be refreshed and a way to de-stress. She encouraged me to think positively when I am overwhelmed by the stressors of the world. My Grandma’s last piece of advice is to have faith. She trusts in a God who is in control and encourages others to do the same.
When I asked my grandmother if she had any advice she would like to offer to younger people she said, “work hard in everything you do if you want to be successful because you are the only one who can control your own life”. She also said, “Enjoy your young years and don’t stress so much about your future because everything will fall into place”.
My grandma just turned 78, the advice she gave me was to Always be yourself, let your conscience be your guide, respect everyone and everything. I have lived my life by following this advice. She also told me to always do everything to my fullest capability and always respect others.
When I spoke to my grandpa the advice he left with me was “be smart, be careful, and don’t be a follower, followers always get in trouble”. My grandpa lived his entire life taking chances and being a leader. This advice is very important to me because the decisions he made at my age seem like something I would never be able to do. But with this advice I know now not to be a follower and follow the unconscious rules around me but to take chances and work hard so that I can live the happy, successful like, as did my grandpa.
After interviewing my 80 year old grandfather, I learned many pieces of advice from him. The one that stuck with me the most was to live life in the moment since life is short. As I get older I realize how true that is. I’m now 20 years old and I feel like my life is flying by. I finished two years of college already and am more than halfway done with my third year. I am trying my best to live in the moment and not take things for granted.
I decided to ask my softball coach for life advice since she grew up during the Title IX movement. She simply said, “don’t ever become too complacent. You don’t understand how hard it was to get here today.” My coaches first time playing in an organized team sport was her sophomore year of high school. Now, she is a very successful Hall of Famer. I don’t even think about softball being a privilege because I grew up being allowed to play it. For my coach, she treats it like a blessing, something that I will start to do after hearing how lucky I am to be a female athlete in this era.
I talked with my neighbor from my hometown, who is 81 years old. She told me that learning from mistakes are very important. She went through a lot in her life, as she worked hard to be a professor. Her husband died in the spring of 2015, so even recently she has had to deal with set backs and times of sadness. She said that what you do when you make a mistake tells a lot about your character. In life you can only get stronger too, by learning and failing. But when you fail it is important to get back up and achieve what you want to achieve
I recently interviewed my father who is 63 years old and he gave me some advice that will with forever stick with me. In regards of searching for a profession he told me to find something that you like to do and do it very well. You may not be rewarded financially right away but with hard work and dedication the rewards will come.
I asked my 87-year-old grandmother what her life advice would be for me and for younger generations and she said, “Never hold back because it’s important to take a chance every once in a while. Everything happens for a reason. As long as you are being responsible, you are more than able to have fun. And always remember, your happiness matters more than anybody else’s, so never be afraid to focus on yourself.” I was surprised by this response because my grandma has always been somewhat reserved, but after asking her for this advice, she opened up about the rebellious experiences she’s had. My grandma’s advice is extremely important to me and although it’s important to be safe and responsible, she has always made it a point that happiness is the first priority.
When I asked my grandmother for advice for younger people she said not to rush into things and to take the time to learn about life. She also said that young people should travel and see the world as much as they can.
When I recently spoke to one of my close family friends, she gave me the best advice I have ever received. At 73 years old, Mary Anne is still very active, living life to the fullest. She advised me to never stop doing what causes me to smile. We both share the love of horses and she thinks that keeping up with her passion, even currently being an elder, has made her life easier and more enjoyable. She told me that some of her friends and family did not make time for themselves, and it affected their lives negatively. When school and life causes stress to me, I will remember her advice, make time to do what I love, and spend time with my horses.
I recently asked my grandmother what advice she would give to the younger generation. She said that she believes that it is important for younger people to continue to be respectful of everyone, regardless of age. In addition, she suggests that younger people should always stick to their dreams and never stop working towards achieving them that if people work hard enough, anything is possible. She emphasized how young people today have many more opportunities today due to the increase acceptance in society so that it is important to take advantage of those opportunities and really try and make a change in the world.
When asking my grandmother what advice she would give to younger people, she stated,“If you get mad, get glad.” In essence this means that each person should make everyday count for good and do something good for others when possible. She mentions that if a person finds him or herself in some kind of problem, it is necessary to go to somebody who has authority and talk to them about the problem. I think that this is very powerful and influential advice for younger people because life is too short, and being happy is important. Mental health is a common struggle among college students, and it is necessary for people to seek help, so that they can feel better both internally and externally. Finally, my grandmother suggests getting a job that you love. This is because getting up each morning to go to work will not feel like a task, it will be something that you look forward to most days.
While asking my dad’s friend on any general advice he’d give for younger generations, he responded with: ““If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” He confided in me that while you could plan your life to the fullest, you can’t control everything. In pursuing your dream, don’t be discouraged if you cannot achieve them, but be happy with what you have around you. He also stated that life can be long, and dreams can be achieved even in old age.
My grandma, Gretchen, told me that everyone should live alone before they get married. This is a small part of her larger message: aging is easier if you know how to be alone with yourself. She thinks that some people these days don’t know how to be truly alone with themselves, and it only serves to make them more unhappy. Being content with being alone is key to successful aging.
When I interviewed my grandma, she told me to never lose sight of my dreams and always continue to push myself. She said that I would never know how much I could possibly achieve, if I settled after I reached a goal. After you reach a goal, you should continue to challenge yourself. Lastly, she told me to always be happy and proud of who I am. She stressed the importance of sharing my happiness and joy with as many people as I can because it has the potential to make such a difference in someones life.
This is the advice my father shared with me for my Life History Paper. This project really allowed me to know my father for who he really is, for what his life was really like, and I really enjoyed that opportunity. Hope you enjoy.
“During my younger years I remember feeling (THINKING) like I was going to live to be 125 – 150 Years Old. Today, I no longer feel (THINK) that. BUT, what I do feel (THINK) is that at some point in time every High School/College Age Youth will have those moments of reflecting back and they will FEEL (THINK)… if I only knew then, what I know now!
If I would share a message with all of our Youth of the World I would share the same message I have for my Daughters and Sons, Granddaughters and Grandsons.
EDUCATION (USE YOUR HEAD – Learn to THINK things through) – Education, OR, a useable Skill Set is key to a solid starting foundation upon which you can build. A College Education DOES NOT guarantee gainful employment, BUT, it will provide you with the opportunity of having more options.
EMPLOYMENT – You have to be able to take total care of yourself, but, you should aspire to find something to do that you are passionate about… don’t settle for “just a job.”
FINANCE – Learn to live within your means. Once employed (or, earning an income) immediately set up a savings plan. If you do the math you will find that you can set up a retirement savings plan and still receive the same net pay. Learn to bank/save 10% of what you actually bring home. Establish and maintain good credit as you position yourself to buy your own home.
FRIENDS – Establish and maintain deep Friendships… everyone you meet WILL NOT be your friend. Be selective! Your Friend will be someone who is with you through good times AND bad times. Your Friend will be someone who is like minded and not “always” needy. Your Friend will be someone you can talk to about anything and IT STAYS between you and that individual. Your Friend will be loyal and never betray you. Your Friend will be someone you will never want to put in a position to have to choose between right AND/OR wrong!
FIND YOUR SOULMATE – Be open and keep your mind and eyes open… your “Soulmate” is out here. Recognize and embrace the possibilities.
FIND YOUR PURPOSE… The 40 – 60 Hour Work Week IS NOT the reason for being born into this existence, on this Earth? Strive to find out and understand why you are here? Why are you on this planet? Why were you BORN?
ENJOY LIFE (as we currently exist) – Find ways to give back, find ways to elevate some of those around you… when you leave you will be remembered, and, measured by the footprints you have left and the impressions you have made.”
Alli Arndt
My nana, Mary Kay, is 83 years old and has overcome many challenges and is full of good advice, which has aided me throughout life. When I asked her what advice she would give to young people she told me to “take every opportunity” because you never know what these opportunities may lead to. Mary Kay remembers that some of her most exciting times in life occurred when she said yes to opportunities and experiences that she was originally hesitant about. She also said that her job opportunities all came from unexpected opportunities and led to a shift in a career
Mary Kay also advised me to find a good group of friends that you will be able to trust throughout life. She credits the support of her friends for helping her during challenging times of life. Mary Kay advises younger people to have fun and keep a positive attitude throughout life. I find myself very similar to my nana in the way that we try to see the good in life. This attitude helps me to deal with stress in a healthy manner.
When I asked my grammy if she had any advice for the younger generation, she responded with many pieces of advice. The most important advice that my grandmother has for younger people is to follow the golden rule which is to treat others as you would want to be treated. Her next piece of advice was to respect others, even if you don’t like them and to be kind and understanding towards the world and all of the diversity that it brings. Don’t be selfish, do things for other people without expecting anything in return. She emphasized that fact that everyone should try to perform at least one kind action towards someone else every day. Eat healthy. Protect the environment. Learn another language. My grandmother wishes that she had known more about other cultures in her youth, and been more aware about the cultures outside of the United States and her heritage. Her last pice of advice for me to take away from this experience was that money isn’t everything, and that money cannot buy happiness.
My father Bob, who is 61, spent 30 years as a businessman making vital business deals around the world through his company. His advice came from his job as a communicator. He urged me to understand myself– how I communicate and act socially (i.e. social styles). He said knowing how you communicate as a person is vital to knowing yourself. Secondly, once you know yourself it is helpful to identify how others communicate socially and work with that knowledge. He explained that life is full of opposites and balances. A good example he gave was how he and my mom, who have been together 30+ years, differ socially in a variety of ways. My mom is certainly amiable and analytic, while my dad is a clear leader and limits emotional expressions. Together these opposite styles can work together nicely. Being aware of these concepts at work can help us decode the chaotic world around us according to Bob.
My Uncle Charles game me advice that I think a lot of people in his generation missed out on. He was born right at the hight of baby boomers, but had 8 other siblings to help care of and was enlisted into the army before he was even 20. The advice he game me was that you need to get an education in some way or form so you can have a better life going on. “The more you know the more you know, the better you can do.” He didn’t get that chance, and he wants others to be able to experience it.
After interviewing Thelma Unger, an eighty-seven-year old who has lived a bright life, I gained valuable insight. She emphasized taking advantage of positive opportunities that present themselves. She says one must know what is good for them because no two people are the same and when it comes to finding a career you must find a passion that makes you excited to wake up every morning. The most interesting advice I received from her was do everything in moderation. Whether it be work, leisure, etc. and I found this interesting because I think it reflects an age difference between cohorts. Her cohort certainly differs from the cohort that group up in the early 2000’s and moderation for each has a distinct difference. Her advice continued with not worrying about everything that comes about. Be concerned about the major aspects of life and don’t sweat the little things or you will waste time you don’t have. Finally, Thelma said, “If you don’t have your health, you have nothing.”
I recently had the opportunity to interview one of my favorite people in the world – Elizabeth Burton, my volunteering friend that I met after doing some work at a local museum. Some of the best advice that I have received:
– Marry out of respect, not love or lust.
– You can be raised as an atheist but then find your path in religion.
– Having side jobs enables you to learn more about yourself and your passions.
– “We’re all just human beings that are a bunch of jerks.”
– Marry someone that you want to, even if your father is a jerk about it.
– There’s a way to find a solution to even the scariest looking problems.
– Be passionate about what you care about. Stand up for your beliefs.
– Be persistent on things. Keep forging forwards. No regrets.
– Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking of other people. Listen and see if you can help with anything.
– Every single person is a good person inside. But everyone’s wrapped up with themselves that no one wants to reach out.
– Aging isn’t like tests – you don’t know when anything is going to happen to anyone at any time so you gotta worry about today and not focus on anything else.
“Caring is what matters most in life,” nonagenarian Edith Carter told me with heartfelt conviction as I interviewed her for a project on active nonagenarians.
Every day this dedicated woman made the walk from her retirement cemteer apartment to the rehab wing, spending an hour visiting residents to show them that they weren’t forgotten. “It’s as good for me as it is for them,” she explained.
Edith’s insistence that “we shouldn’t be bystanders and wait for someone else to help” was shaped by the tragedy of her having been a victim of the Holocaust. She survived unspeakable horrors, not the least of which was losing her husband as well as every other member of her family. After going through complete despair, she created a new life for herself in America. In her sixty years of living in Cincinnati, she took every opportunity to speak out about the hellish events of the Holocaust and against ongoing global atrocities.
Despite the starvation, hard work, and deprivation of the war years, Edith insisted she was never sick – only “sick in heart and mind” over man’s inhumanity to man.
Edith was content in her apartment at her retirement home. Friends mattered most to her, and she had companions of all ages. She lived a life of simplicity: a window in her bedroom through which light streamed, meaningful photos and artwork on the walls, and being able to watch world news, listen to NPR, and have a steady diet of reading – these means of connecting and keeping informed were all she needed. She cared nothing about materialism. “Possessions are all just lifeless things,” she noted.
She suffered terribly each time she remembered the losses of her past, but she delved into her personal history to be able to help new generations understand that hatred and bigotry must never be allowed to scourge the earth again.
Before her death in May of 2010 at the age of 95, Edith spoke frequently in public about her hellish war experiences, all to bear witness to the evil of this time in history and to work against repeating it.
Edith recorded her memories for Yad Vashem, Israel’s Holocaust Memorial; videotaped a remembrance of the events through which she lived for Project Eternity; filmed a testimony for the Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation; emblazoned her story in the Holocaust collection of the Jacob Rader Marcus Center of Cincinnati’s American Jewish Archives; and confided her past to her granddaughter-in-law, Patricia J. Hruby, who chronicled Edith’s experiences in Two Worlds: A Family Memoir about the Holocaust, Intermarriage, and Love.
“I try to emphasize that we all have to be part of it – we can’t sit and wait for others to take action,” Edith said. “We must support those far out on the branch.”
Advice that my grandmother has for younger people is to not worry about things that cannot be controlled. Things will work out how they are supposed to and fall into place like they are meant to. She repeated the phrase “life takes care of itself” and I think this is something that is very important to remember. Being over-anxious about things will keep you from living your life and there is no sense in doing that about things you have no control over. This is something I always try to keep in mind. It is important to live your life the way you want to without worrying too much because life is short. I think younger people can learn a lot from older people and vice versa. It is necessary for people of all age categories to communicate and learn from one another.
“No one’s better than anyone else.” — from my father, who was in WWII in the foxholes and observed the officers were just as afraid as everyone else. It’s mostly about questioning status and position, so my formulation is closer to “Question authority.”
As a young boy growing up in the heart of the Great Depression our family had very limited income and hardly any material possessions. I wore hand-me- down clothes that didn’t fit and had no toys like the other kids. I was being raised by a wonderful grandma whose simple advice to a little boy has stuck with me my entire life.
Knowing I felt out of place and embarassed, grandma told me “keep your head up, a smile on your face, and your shoes shined, and you will be alright”. It wasn’t how I looked, or the toys I didn’t have. It was about having a positive attitude.
It worked!
“Be thankful for the things in life you have seen through the years. Be thankful you are alive and live life to the fullest.”
Mr. Weisel served 2.5 years during WWII. He landed on Normandy Beach, fought in the Battle of the Bulge, helped liberate a concentration camp (Nordhausen) and earned a WWII Victory Medal, Good Conduct Medal, Normandy Beach Medal and European-African-Middle Eastern Service Medal. On August 24th, 2003 Mr. Weisel visited Normandy Beach. It was something he always wanted to do. He wanted to go back and visit the place his memory could not erase. While he was at the Utah Beach Museum on Normandy Beach he passed by a room where a meeting was being held. He stopped in and shared his story. They invited him back the next day and presented him with a certificate of honor along with another medal. That day he finally walked on the beach he tried so hard to erase from his memory. While standing on the beach he realized that the bunkers were still there and not much had been cleared. He said, “All I saw were hundreds of dead bodies laying around and floating on the water.” Emotions overtaking him, he added, “You should always be thankful for your life and live it to the fullest.”
My beloved and inspirational Grandmother, Eula Mae Coburn, passed away on 1/1/11, at the amazing age of 105 years old. For the past five years, since she turned 100, I often heard people ask her for her advice on how to live a satisfying life to such an old age. The advice I most often heard her give to people was “Be happy with what you’ve got!” She grew up quite poor, and worked hard during her life, and she was married to the love of her life for sixty years before he died over twenty years ago. She had three children, two of whom she outlived, and she was grateful for every blessing she had, and never complained about anything! She thought it was “such a shame” that people today seem to always be wanting more and searching for happiness, instead of enjoying the moments and “being happy with what they got!” I think of her often, and am trying to heed her wisdom and pass it on to my own children.
“Social Graces”
A 93 year old woman named Ruth (my mother) recently told a story about coming to age in her teenage years during the Great Depression, made worse for her family by the Dust Bowl on the plains of North Dakota. This was not the first time that her family had suffered hardships, however. Her grandmother, named Martha, immigrated to North Dakota alone in 1890 to marry a man named Jens, whom she knew only from a letter, a man who had come to the United States earlier with his family, only to have his first wife and two daughters die from typhoid fever. Jens originally came to this country from the same area in Sweden as Martha, so he knew about her family having three daughters. Despite having never met these young women, he wrote to one asking her to come to North Dakota and marry him. She declined, but her sister, Martha, accepted, knowing that she wanted to begin her family in America. The young woman packed up her nice linens and clothing, traveled to North Dakota, surprised to find that she would be living in a sod house. Jens and Martha worked their farm together, raising five children, but it would be 4 years after their marriage before they were able to build their home and move out of the sod house. The story continues explaining, that for all three generations, holding onto their “social graces” brought them all through hardships, war, and strife to find their lives very successful after all.
She shared this, because despite hardship and trying times, her family kept together no matter what came their way. Ruth emphasizes that from her experience, she feels it is important in life to remember one’s “social graces” throughout both good and rough times. Admittedly, this included Emily Post’s Etiquette, the official handbook on manners. The “social graces” that she prefers to mention are:
1. Integrity.
2. Graciousness
3. Generosity.
4. Character.
5. Thoughtfulness.
6. Humor
7. Positive Outlook
Our country is undergoing some difficult financial times, affecting many families. Many of those out of work today have been hard working, contributing citizens, but now find themselves living with hardships and uncertainty. But for all of us, it is not how we conduct ourselves in good times that will define us, but rather how we conduct ourselves in difficult times. We can keep our “social graces” at work each day by:
1. Be honest and fair.
2. Treat others with respect, both in word and deed.
3. Give of yourself and your salary to those in need.
4. Show strong character.
5. Be thoughtful, not just hurried, in making decisions that affect others.
6. Remember humor is almost always appreciated.
7. Be positive, and avoid pessimistic attitudes.
Our country has worked through problems in the past, and it is likely we will again with hard work, perseverance, tenacity, and sacrifice. We are asked to do more with less during these times, and we all appreciate having the opportunity to come to work each day. Think about the relevancy of these “social graces,” and consider whether there is significance for them today.
Christy Fair, 62
I truly believe that when both the mother and father stand strong and are united(whether divorced or not) that their ” adult” children will stop the demeaning, dismissive, belittling behavior towards one of the parents. It’s harder to knock down one parent when there is a united front…AND….No man should EVER let a child, adult or not, speak to their mother in ANY demeaning way!!.NO EXCEPTIONS…
My grandmother Wilma shared some good remedies to help people that are struggling with mental health. She shared that being inside confines you and can have an effect on your mental health. “If you have someone that’s struggling with mental health take them outside for a walk by the water just get outside”.
My grandmother shared that prayer helps her. Before the pandemic my grandmother went to prayer at our church a lot now nothing really is different. She still is in a prayer group over the phone. She expresses to me that technology is so important now, it helps her so much and keeps her connected. Family is so important during this time because if you have at least someone you can have help with mental health, someone to be there for you to take you out and spend time together. There are ways to communicate with family other than face to face but it still is heart breaking to not be able to hug your loved ones.
My grandmother expressed that her mental state has not changed because of her faith in god and her prayers. I asked her how we can help people that we can’t see and her answer was one simple word: pray. My grandmother says if we can’t help them directly we can pray for them.
My grandmothers faith gives her strength to continue on and hope that this pandemic will get better.
I talked to a man named Mr. Bird. We had an interesting conversation about the challenges he faced in life and how we dealt with them. He used to be in the military and they made him cut grass which was not included in his role. The advice he gave me was when you are doing something that’s not in your job description do your best and push through it!
I had a conversation with Mr.Bryd. We had an interesting conversation about his life and the struggles he had to go through. He used to be in the army. During his time in service, he was told to cut grass. It bothered him because it wasn’t in his “job description” but he did it because a figure of authority ordered him to. His advice to me was whenever a person of authority gives you a task to do that’s out of your job description, do your best regardless and preserve through it.
There are family members who find solace in hurting, judging, punishing, and threatening others in the family who are vulnerable. After 67 years, it has become clear that they carry a dangerous mixture of toxins harmful to me.
How about family members who are sociopaths, narcissists, and just plain amoral? Why would I want ANY sort of relationship with these humans?
I am recovering from years of trauma. These people trigger PTSD responses in me.