Just Start! Lesson from Winning Contest Entry

We’re excited to post the first of our six Legacy Project contest winning entries! We’re beginning with the elders who shared their own wisdom. Then we’ll post the three young people who offered what they have learned from their elders.

Our first runner up entry comes from Art Pereira. He highlights the importance of “just starting.” And he’s right – we could accomplish so many things if we would just take the first step.

If you have an idea, any idea, begin working on it. Just start. Start anything, start anywhere, though starting at the beginning is a good idea. Too many times we don’t start or begin because we already have this notion that it is not going to work or it will fail. And so, we don’t start because we don’t want to waste our time on it and fail.

 Don’t worry about failure. If you start on it, anything, you can figure out whether you are making the right moves as you go along. It does not need to be perfect or pretty. You will make changes as you go along. But if you don’t start on it, you will never know how to make it work and it will most certainly have failed before it got off the ground. So be brave, be the one that made the decision, be the one that opened the door for everyone to walk through, be the one to start.

Just Start.

Advice for Graduates: From the Wisest Americans

We looked over our surveys of over 1200 of the oldest Americans, to see what advice they would offer new graduates hitting the job market. This month’s grads hit one of the worst job market in 100 years – so why not ask the advice of those folks who started looking for work in the worst job market (in the aftermath of the Great Depression)? Journalist Catey Hill summed up the advice nicely for the new website Next Avenue.

Here are the wisest Americans’ five lessons for having a fulfilling career and advice from experts on how to implement them effectively:

1. Say “yes”: This was the biggest message Pillemer heard over and over again. “People who passed up promotions, or opportunities to do things like work abroad, or who didn’t apply for a job because they thought they were underqualified said that not saying “yes” was their No. 1 career regret,” notes Pillemer. 

For Boomers with grown children, it may be easier than ever to say “yes.” Lower expenses may make it easier to finally take a chance on a less lucrative career or to move to another city for work, if necessary.

“Often there are a lot more opportunities to say ‘yes’ once the kids are out of the house,” says Lisa Adams, founder of the career-transition firm Fresh Air Careers. “You can finally take a chance on a less lucrative career or something you’ve really wanted to try.”

How to make it happen:  One obstacle people face in getting to “yes” is that they view a new job or opportunity as permanent, which makes them more risk averse, says Michael Jeans, president of New Directions, a career transition consulting firm. Instead, look at the offer as an adventure for the next two years or so.  

You may be tempted to say “no” because of a fear that you won’t like the new job – or that you won’t have the necessary skill set to be good at it. To combat this response, “do a 360-degree assessment of the opportunity,” says Lavie Margolin, a career coach whose firm is called Lion Cub Job Search. Ask the employer for details on what the job entails, then make a list of the positives and negatives, noting how well-aligned your interests and skills are to each job task, Margolin says. Once you’ve made this assessment, you can make a more informed decision and you might want to quickly bolster any skills you’re lacking.

2. Figure out what kind of job would make you happy – even if it means taking a pay cut: “This group overwhelmingly said that intrinsic rewards were much more important than financial ones,” Pillemer says.  

How to make it happen: Take a career personality test to figure out what kind of job might make you happy, Margolin says. This type of test, offered by many colleges and career-counseling centers, lets you assess your interests and skills then match them to potential careers.

It’s also important to make a list of the things that have made you happy (these could be hobbies, social interactions or work tasks) and create a list of jobs that could let you do them. Then “talk to people who do the job you think you want,” Jeans says. “Ask them what they do all day and what the challenges are in their jobs.” If possible, give the field you’re interested in a test drive, Margolin says. “Take an adult internship or volunteer with an organization where you can try to do what you want and see how you like it.”

3. Make the most of a bad job: Even if you’re toiling in a job you hate and feel you can’t leave it, do whatever you can to turn it into a learning experience. In his book, Pillemer says you should modify the Stephen Stills song lyric “And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with” to “And if you can’t have the job you love, honey, find something worthwhile about the one you’re in.”

How to make it happen: Identify the factors about the job that are making you the most unhappy, says career expert Julie Redfield, of PA Consulting Group. It might just be a single factor – like a long commute or disagreeable coworker – that could be easily remedied. Talk to your boss or the person contributing to your unhappiness to see if something could be done. Maybe you could work remotely a few days a week to avoid the commute. Or you could move desks to be farther away from the disagreeable co-worker.

If your boss is making you nuts, try to have a candid conversation with him or her. Don’t become accusatory or try to change the boss’ management style, but do see if the two of you can come up with ways to improve your working relationship.

If you can’t change what’s making you hate the job, try to gain new skills that will help you transition to a different job with the same employer, Jeans says. This could mean anything from helping out another department in your spare time to taking advantage of your employer’s college tuition reimbursement programs, he says.

4. Improve your people skills: You may be the most talented engineer or the most exacting architect, but you won’t get as far as you want without the ability to work well with people, Pillemer says. “Older Americans overwhelmingly said that emotional intelligence trumps every other type.” Getting along better with others at work will also make your job less stressful and more enjoyable.

How to make it happen: “Don’t just be an interesting person, be interested in other people,” Jeans says. To do this, ask people questions about how their day is going or offer to help them with projects. “You can start small,” Margolin says. “Tell yourself to ask one person one question about himself or herself per day.”

It’s also important to stay even-keeled and temper your criticism. “Before you speak, take 10 seconds to think about how what you’re going to say might impact the person, he says. “If you feel yourself ready to blow up, excuse yourself to take a bathroom break.” Similarly, before sending an email, reread it to make sure the tone isn’t accusatory or mean. You might even have a trusted coworker look over it.

5. Look for work with autonomy: “Career satisfaction has a lot more to do with how much autonomy and freedom you have than how much money you make,” Pillemer says. “You need the freedom to make your own decisions.”

How to make it happen: Find ways to get better at what you do at work. “If you excel at your job, your boss is most likely going to get off your back,” Jeans says. Try to get regular feedback from your boss, so you can then do what’s necessary to improve. You might also try to talk with a superior about establish approaches to work that might allow for less intervention – or at least reduce the need for it.

Certain careers – typically ones that are specialized and require more education – tend to be more autonomous, Margolin says. If you have a job like psychologist, social worker, counselor, financial adviser or graphic designer, you’re the expert, so people don’t meddle as much.

Your years of experience can help you sculpt an autonomous job by leveraging your experience into a consulting gig. Tap your professional network via LinkedIn or flip through those business cards to get started) or check out the Small Business Administration’s start-up guide online.

Next Avenue: 5 Career Lessons From the Wisest Americans

Finding a Purpose: Can You Help One of Our Readers?

Dear Legacy Project Blog Readers:

Cathy commented on this post (see below) asking for advice. In the past, you all have had some great advice for people like Cathy. Do you have any suggestions for her? If so, please comment!

I’ve been talking to friends of ours whose children are applying to college (thankfully, ours are done with that!). It got me to thinking about one powerful message of the elders to young people: Take time to find your life’s purpose.

Many of the Legacy Project elders told me something along the lines of: “Find what you love and do it!” What’s interesting is that people said this from all walks of life and all professions: Look for your purpose and your passion, or you miss out on a lot of what life has to offer.

Gary, 74, trained in engineering and spent his career as an executive in the railroad industry. Gary’s calm demeanor and self-effacing, folksy comments  reminded me a bit of Jimmy Stewart. He’s someone whose goal was to “do his best,” and he looks back on his life with dry humor.

His main advice (indeed, it was his primary life lesson) is to take the time to identify your life’s purpose.

One problem is you go through life and you don’t tend to think very much about these kinds of things. You go along, the dishes need to be done, the groceries need to be bought, you have to get off to work. So insight number one is that there’s more to life than getting the chores done every day. You should draw back from the hurly-burly of daily living and spend a little time thinking about: What’s my philosophy of  life?; Why am I here? What am I doing? Does it make any sense to be doing this? Those kinds of questions.

We need to take the time, perhaps even a little time every day, to reflect on our lives. I don’t know if we do as much as we should, so I think that might be rule number one. Even when you’re in high school. High school a good place to start, that’s where you begin discovering who you are. You should  start laying the groundwork  to develop a philosophy early in life. And throughout life, take a little time to determine what the purpose is to what you are doing. You can view your life as a kind of continuum, one you can direct more if you know the purpose behind it.

This can begin in school. When you’re in school you have a once in a lifetime chance  to learn something. And go for it. You can go for for it to shape your philosophy. If I were to go back and tell those kids in the class I would tell them to  get into whatever you’re doing now as intensely as you can. I think you need to spend some time reading history to this so you can  understand what life was like 2000 years ago versus today.

The end result of this reflection, Gary says, is to discover your underlying passion.

My first thought would be; ‘Is there something in life you have a passion for?’  And if it’s possible, can you start your career in whatever that field is? It could be butterfly collecting, anything. There are people that live very good lives in butterflies and collecting. It doesn’t matter what it is. so I think if you have a chance and you have a passion, follow it. A lot of people don’t have a passion, but if you do, see if you can somehow incorporate that into your career. And it could lead you interesting things and if that’s the case then take advantage of it.

It’s a balance. You need to be careful of what you do, to plan ahead, and so forth. But if you do too much of that you’re going to become stunted.You need some kind of middle ground. And it depends on the individual. If your passion in life is climbing mountains then go climb mountains because that is a talent that you have, a desire, and if you don’t do it, if you consciously give it up because something bad might happen, you’re going have a lot of regrets of missing your dream. But of course, check your gear before you go!

Making your mark in your career: Sy’s lessons on new video

There’s been a lot of discussion on this site about how young people should approach their careers. Since the elders we interviewed have had almost every job you can imagine, and many succeeded in careers after a struggle, they are a great source of practical advice. Today we hear from Sy, a successful entrepreneur who shares his lessons those starting out (or in mid-career).

 

 

 

See many more Legacy Project elders on video at our YouTube Channel.

Your turn: Can you advise one of our readers?

In an earlier post, we shared Bertrille’s regrets about her work life. Jenny commented on the post, sharing her own struggles to find a place in the world of work. Although our elders in the Legacy Project can’t respond to individual questions – can you? Does anyone have some life wisdom to share? Please comment to share your thoughts. Below is the original post, and Jenny’s comment follows.

Sometimes the elder’s lessons come not from what they did right, but from what they felt they did wrong. They advise younger people not to do as they did. So it is in this lesson about finding work that has meaning for you.

Bertrille, 69, flirted with a number of careers over the course of her life, from graduate school in the humanities, to work in research , eventually training as a nurse and practicing in several different settings. Her main regret is never having taken the time and energy to learn  what type of work she would find meaningful and even love:

Work for me? Well, you know, some people have careers and they find what they love to do. For me, work was to make money to do the things I wanted. It didn’t really have much value to me. And I’m very sad to be in my sixties and to have to say that, but it’s really the truth. I worked to live, I didn’t find anything in it that held a lot of meaning to me. I drifted from one thing to another and never really found a purpose.

So I feel sad, I feel very sad about that. I wish I could’ve found something that I really enjoyed but I didn’t do that.

When I look back on my life, I have one area of regret and that is I listened too much to what other people told me to do. I think people have to follow their own instincts about who they are, what their strengths and weaknesses are, and what they have to offer. You should not listen too much to what other people tell you to do. I have to deal with that sense of lost purpose.

Here’s what Jenny wrote in her comment. Do you have any life lessons to offer her?

Dear Bertrille, thank you for sharing your life lessons.

I am currently 34 year old and I am one of those who has moved from job to job because I didn’t like the previous one. 3 Years ago, I realized I must stop wasting time and do something more meaningful in my life. I know I want to make a difference in other’s life, particular to those less privileged.

Determined and ambition as I always am, I got myself into a Tier 1 MBA program, aiming to build a more rounded skill-set and a strong network so I can have a good foundation to get started on my life ambition. I dream to establish an institution that teaches and builds people’s character through simulated activities, particularly for disadvantage children in various parts of the world. I see that many people in influential positions today do not exemplify good character such as integrity, courage and compassion. They often get to where they are because of their privileged background and network, without many tests and trials in their lives. It is very disappointing reality for me. I want the institution to raise the awareness that character building is first and foremost and through various activities to instill admirable characters to young children.

As I have no money to start, I tried leveraging on my network to find job opportunities in existing organizations of similar purpose/field and wait till the right moment to start. Maybe it’s the current state of the economy or just bad luck, I joined 4 organizations so far, none of them were able to offer a full-time role. Now, a year and a half after my graduation, I am penniless and with a huge school loan to pay back. The reality of life keeps haunting me and thank goodness I do not need to support a family. I am now applying to any job that I see fit to my previous banking background as I must deal with the reality of life. Yet nothing comes my ways, except a few small consulting projects here and there which is hardly predictable nor able to cover my basic expenses. In my most despair moment, I’d ask myself what’s wrong with me? How big is the price to pursue my dream? Why wouldn’t anyone wants to hire a motivated and highly-skilled with individual? And many more such questions…

I am not giving up my dream. But my question is, what would you do if you were me at this juncture of life?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Very gratefully,

Jenny