12 thoughts on “Your turn: Can you advise one of our readers?”

1. Sometimes we all hit the bottom and feel that there is no way out of our predicament. It’s good to remember that God still loves us and cares about us. In moments like this taking a step toward God and asking him for help and for the strength to move forward can be life changing. Every time that I have taken a step toward God he has taken two steps toward me. If you want to learn about instilling character and strength to the disadvantaged, there is no greater role model than Jesus Christ. Reading about his life and his teachings in the first four books of the New Testament has been one of the most powerful and meaningful experiences of my life. God promises that anyone who reads his word will not be turned away empty handed. I have found that the most powerful and loving friend that I have ever made in my life is Jesus. Nothing else in life can be more important. As far as my life goes, I have started and run four different companies in four different cities in California and Oregon over the past 30 years. I have been married to my one and only wife for 31 years and have successfully raised four children.

   Richard

2. Dear Bertrille, thank you for sharing your life lessons.

   I am currently 34 year old and I am one of those who has moved from job to job because I didn’t like the previous one. 3 Years ago, I realized I must stop wasting time and do something more meaningful in my life. I know I want to make a difference in other’s life, particular to those less privileged.

   Determined and ambition as I always am, I got myself into a Tier 1 MBA program, aiming to build a more rounded skill-set and a strong network so I can have a good foundation to get started on my life ambition. I dream to establish an institution that teaches and builds people’s character through simulated activities, particularly for disadvantage children in various parts of the world. I see that many people in influential positions today do not exemplify good character such as integrity, courage and compassion. They often get to where they are because of their privileged background and network, without many tests and trials in their lives. It is very disappointing reality for me. I want the institution to raise the awareness that character building is first and foremost and through various activities to instill admirable characters to young children.

   As I have no money to start, I tried leveraging on my network to find job opportunities in existing organizations of similar purpose/field and wait till the right moment to start. Maybe it’s the current state of the economy or just bad luck, I joined 4 organizations so far, none of them were able to offer a full-time role. Now, a year and a half after my graduation, I am penniless and with a huge school loan to pay back. The reality of life keeps haunting me and thank goodness I do not need to support a family. I am now applying to any job that I see fit to my previous banking background as I must deal with the reality of life. Yet nothing comes my ways, except a few small consulting projects here and there which is hardly predictable nor able to cover my basic expenses. In my most despair moment, I’d ask myself what’s wrong with me? How big is the price to pursue my dream? Why wouldn’t anyone wants to hire a motivated and highly-skilled with individual? And many more such questions…

   I am not giving up my dream. But my question is, what would you do if you were me at this juncture of life?

   Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

   Very gratefully,

   Jenny

3. Hello there,
   Networking with people may be the best way to create awareness, make connections and show people what you have to offer. Have you tried any church groups or creating a Facebook page dedicated to the cause you believe in? Perhaps setting up a blog on blogspot.com would be another way to create awareness and showcase your skills and mission. (You’d also earn a small commisssion if people click on the ads on your blog page.)

   Best to you in achieving your goal. Don’t give up. 🙂
   Gina

4. I just turned 25 and I have already learned the very same things you have Jenny, never stop building relationships, connections, and expanding your networks.

   It sounds like you are very ambitious, the goal you have set forth is very large. It helps to break such large goals down into pieces:

   http://www.ispub.com/journal/the-internet-journal-of-medical-informatics/volume-2-number-2/reliability-analysis-of-cooperating-and-communicating-distributed-mobile-agents.article-g03.fs.jpg

   The parts make the whole. Many smaller goals are easier to achieve, but do not lose focus of the main objective. Good Luck.

5. Think of trying the Peace Corps? Or maybe the Navy. As a single person who wants to help and see the world you could think outside the box and look for alternative employment.

6. Jenny,
   I believe the right opportunity is coming your way. Maybe you are a little ahead of your time and you just have to have hope, determination, a positive attitude and persistence. “Focus on the end result and don’t worry about the hows”. Make sure everything you do moves you closer to your goal. Have you tried connecting with other professionals on LinkedIn? It’s free and you can find all sorts of ideas and opportunities. Contact me at amethyst7@shaw.ca if you need more info. I believe you are on the right track.
   Angela

7. Hi Jenny,

   I spent all of my work life doing things I felt I had to and hated most every moment. I am of an age, nearly 68, when women had few choices and I didn’t like any of them. I ended up in education, no way near my passion. I am retired now and so happy to be free of jobs I hated. But along the way I learned a valuable lesson from a young Amish couple who worked as caretakers for us on our farm.

   They began their married life with one cow and one horse. They lived for free working for us. They had one child, a delightful little girl. The young woman did any job she was asked to do, cared for the animals, etc. The young man worked in construction. They saved every penny. Eventually they bought more animals, enlarged their herds. They both developed home businesses and sold their products via auctions, in “Amish” stores, and even over the Internet. They made
   do. Now they own, free and clear, their own home, farm, herds of beautiful dairy cows and horses, etc.

   The secret? Do anything you can at first. Save every penny you can. Forego everything but necessities. Build your new life purposely and gradually. Work more–make things to sell, sell your expertise. Keep your eye on the prize, whatever that might be. The young woman told me that each morning when they wake up they still ask each other what each can do that day to build on their dream, they seriously consider where they are in their goals, then each chooses something and does it! I wish my husband and I had started out this way.

   Karen

8. The ambitions stated by these posters are great, and if satisfied will be very fulfilling not only for the individuals but also for our communities. I have found such fulfillment in volunteer work, beyond my income producing job. For example, Jenny could become in organizations such as Big Brothers Big Sisters, Habitat for Humanity, Food Banks, Community meal providers, homeless shelters, etc and find many people who share her ideals and are already working to achieve them. Her skills would be welcomed and very useful. Every such organization needs Board members, committee members, fund raisers, etc., as well as direct service providers. This involvement can also serve to connect one with others of like values, and could lead to an income producing job. But if not, fit it into your “regular” job. Look around your community at what is happening and join in on the effort and the fun! I am 69 years old, and will fully retire this summer. My plan is to commit more time my volunteer work and mentor younger volunteers in the organizations I am already involved in.

9. Hi everyone – This is such a HUGE question that is at the core of my life, both personally and professionally. I’m a life transition coach who works with people in the throes of dealing with these important questions. Feel free to visit my website http://www.ouicoach.com and go to the resources section for books I’ve reviewed and articles I’ve written that may help you move forward. There’s no cost, you don’t have to register so I won’t be bugging you to register for programs, etc.

   I’m 64 years old and grew up at a time and in a family where girls weren’t really expected to get higher education. In fact, my parents refused to support any of us girls in getting education beyond high school. We were expected to get a small job, find a man, get married & have kids. Well, I did the first 3 (initially) and decided not to do the last one, permanently. Hubbie died after 7 yrs of marriage, and I had to seriously re-think my life.

   For 15 years I was a secretary/office manager and I thought that jobs were just something you endured from Mon-Fri so that you could get paid and then live your life on the weekends. Slowly I started to notice that some people enjoyed their work and started on a quest to figure out how to do that. I also realized education was critical and spent 10 years getting my BA while I worked full time.

   A huge change happened when I began to notice that the marketing people in my company always seemed to have a good time, had expense accounts, partied lots and traveled often. So I got myself a marketing job so I could have those things too. Much to my surprise, I found my first true ‘job match’ and magic started to happen. I loved my work, I excelled, I had fun. And for about a decade that meant a fabulous work experience, lots of money, recognition, travel and other perks. But then dissatisfaction began to creep in. I slowly had to recognize that I had eaten through the growth and learning this field had to offer me.

   Because I’m not super money oriented it was relatively easy for me to pull up stakes, take a buy-out offer and start my own business. That has been a fabulous experience, although not an especially lucrative one for me. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

   I believe absolutely that you have to take the time and make the effort to go on an in-depth internal search before you can hope to find work that is a ‘match’ to your needs, interests and potential. And even then, you have to be prepared to change companies, positions, bosses, industry sectors and be willing to switch from employee to self employed status over time. Most people today still have this deeply held belief that working for a large corporation offers security. That simply isn’t true. You have to find a way to confront that belief and let it go. Companies are constantly being sold, sold out, downsized, buffeted by the markets, zig & zaging to try to remain stable. Accept that to the core of your being.

   If you want corporate work as a way to get experience, hone skills, build a network, etc. be clear with yourself about what your goals and intentions are. Always be aware of changes in corporate status, senior mgmt changes, etc. Be ready to leap before you get pushed.

   Seriously consider starting your own business. You might not make as much money initially and you may work harder, but you’ll be in charge, you won’t have crap bosses to deal with and you’ll learn how to master fear.

   As others have said, build your network and sustain it over the very long term. And to me, sustaining a network means finding ways to make yourself useful to people. I see way too many people who think networking is a code word for selling. It isn’t. You might want to download my article “5 Tips Guaranteed to Make Networking Work” or others out there to have a real idea of how to network successfully. Whether you’re in a job, looking for work or building a business, your networks are critical. They are like the extended family we used to count on back in the days of village life.

   Hope some of this helps. Don’t be afraid of trying several things before you hit on the type of work that works for you. Are you a big picture person? Then don’t take jobs in accounting, coding, etc. They’ll kill you and you likely won’t be very good at them. But planning and some types of writing jobs may feel very fulfilling. Are you a people person? Then don’t take a back room job unless it allows you to interact with a lot of other backroom people. Do you like to have a plan and work your plan? Then project management type jobs, methods jobs are great for you. Do you prefer to go with the flow? Customer service jobs might be great because there’s a process but you have to be able to alter that process as unique situations develop. Being a trade show host requires a combination of people skills & going with the flow for success. . . .starting to get the picture about matching your innate personality traits to the type of work you take on?

   I could go on and on but I think I’ve said enough for today. Don’t despair. Many of us don’t really connect with the work of our dreams & passions until we’re well into our 40s. If you take some time to get to know yourself and your drivers hopefully you can achieve it well before then!

   Gwen McCauley

10. Jenny,

    Some of the best experiences of my life were when I was young, energetic, adventuresome and had nothing. (I’m now 67 with a doctorate in psych) You’ve already obtained a degree and have a plan, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but have you had experience actually working with disadvantage youth such as those you would like to serve? If not, there are many opportunities, probably many of them volunteer, or low pay, initially. Orphanages around the world, perhaps a school like Oprah’s in Africa, or, as someone suggested, perhaps the Peace Corps, or maybe a charity organization like Save the Children. Indian Reservations are also another possibility. It sounds to me like you’re possibly putting the cart before the horse, creating a niche for yourself and hoping to apply it to the world, instead of getting out into the world and discovering where the niche is. Listen and learn from the people out there working with the disadvantaged, and then create around what you learn from them, if you haven’t already done that. It might mean forgetting that you have that degree for a while, since you’re really talking about a dual project, i.e., having a business, and working with a specific population. You have the business skills now, and perhaps you now need the hands-on education in vivo before you can create the details of your dream.

    Pam

11. Hello Jenny–

    Listen to Pam–she said exactly what I was thinking while I was reading your story. I was working at a job I hated, and started volunteering in group homes. You must go out there and understand what the needs are. You have to learn to listen–really listen–to what all people involved have to say. Listening well is becoming a lost art. I remember once talking to a Peace Corp volunteer who had been in Africa. He went with all these great ideas of what he and “his village” would accomplish. It was only after he REALLY looked around that he saw what was needed most. The need to learn where and how to dig latrines–so that is what he did for months–he dug latrines, and showed others what he was doing and why. He told me it was his proudest accomplishment there. It was a lesson that always stayed with me. Good luck!

12. I am 53 years old. I had wonderful but inexperienced and orphaned parents until I was 13 at which time I became a foster child. Still, I was fortunate to be able to attend college and pursue jobs that I loved although I was not always paid well or fairly. Each time I had a desire or stirring to go in a new direction, I prayed and then pursued my passion. That is what you should do now. Start a blog about what you want to see happen for the children that you are referring to.

    “I dream to establish an institution that teaches and builds people’s character through simulated activities, particularly for disadvantage children in various parts of the world. ” That is what your blog should be about. Write simulated activities that teach and build people’s character. I am sure that you have many lessons to draw from. Ask the people that you feature to share their life lesson. If you don’t do it, someone else will. If it is what you love, you will have a following. Then ask to share your simulations/activities at schools and communities around the world. Eventually, someone will say yes and someone will pay you for your work.

    I encourage you to live your life now. Don’t put off anything. Travel. Volunteerism. Daily acts that make a difference. Make do with what you may have. Buy used furniture. Where the same clothes over and over again. But most of all live your life now. Trust me. No one will recall all of the things that you thought was important. They will, however, remember your kind acts, your smile, your generosity, your care for fellow human beings and the like. And, most important along the way, make friends, marry a friend, and if you choose, have children but most of all, love someone as much, if not, more than yourself.