What would the wisest Americans like to tell today’s college and high school graduates? From our surveys of over 1200 older people (most in their 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond) here are a few gems for those heading out to college or to the “real world.” Like the elders themselves, their advice is by turns serious and funny. Pass these on to the graduates in your lives. Continue reading
As you might expect, some of the elders took a light-hearted approach. These were among our favorites, because the elders who used humor also managed to convey very deeply felt life lessons. Take this one from 67-year old Irving, addressed playfully to his grandchildren:
Gather round, you fantastic five. I have something to say to you. Now, don’t push, Sammy. Why are you crying, Andy? Because Natalie isn’t here? But here she is, under this cushion! Jake, put down that car for a minute. You can finish the book later, Joey.
Kids, don’t be afraid to appear different. Everyone is “different.” Look at Joey’s red hair or Andy’s dimples. But many kids, and big people too, pretend to be the same as everybody else. They dress the same and talk the same and do the same as everybody else. They just don’t want to cause trouble or stand out.
But if you have a really good idea, and you know it’s good, tell people and make them see that it’s good, too. You’ll stick out, sure–or as Joey would say, shooah–but stick out in a good way. People will say, listen to Jake, he knows what he’s talking about, or wow, that kid Sammy has the best ideas. So don’t let other people make you afraid to do or say what you think is right.
It’s one of the hardest things to do when you’re young, but you should take some time now and then to think about the future. Yes, Andy, you need to know when’s dinner. But I mean the future when you’re bigger. Joey, you say you want to be a vet and a daddy. As far as becoming a vet, you’ll have to think about what you’ll need to do to become one. Eventually you’ll have to think about what kind of life you’ll have as a vet and as a daddy. So, as soon as you can, be a man with a plan.
Right now, you kids have fun, as much fun as you can. In fact, your whole lives should be fun. But, watch out, your idea of fun will change. Later, you might begin to think school is more like work than fun. I hope you don’t, because what you’ll learn at school is important. A lot of people will say that to you. Believe them.
Most people use the word “work” to mean “whatever isn’t fun.” Usually, work is what we have to do so we can have fun later. Sometimes, though, work itself is fun, especially when you think about how good you feel after you’ve done a good job. At your age, almost everything you guys do is exciting. Keep it that way!
I don’t have to tell you guys now that the most important thing in life is loving your family. You already love your family. And your family loves you back, even when you’re elbowing Jake in the ribs, Sammy. Later on, though, it’ll get harder to show your family that you love them. And you might not think they love you any more. That won’t be true–they will love you, forever. Don’t ever forget that.
That’s what life’s all about–returning the love of those close to you and gaining the respect of everyone else. In that sense, we live our lives for others. We’re lucky not to have to worry very much about the food we eat or the roof over our heads, but don’t forget that others do have those worries. When you’re older, spare some time to help them.
No matter how happy your lives are, you’ll never be satisfied. That’s normal. You’ll always feel you can do more, feel more, get more. That’s human. Having something to look forward to is a great feeling, and I hope you always feel it. Just for starters, I bet grandma cooked a great dinner. I’m really looking forward to it, aren’t you?
I met Arnold, 95, at a New York City senior center. A victim of Nazi persecution, Arnold fled Germany to the United States and made a good life for his family. He believes that curiousity and tolerance are the keys to lifelong happiness. He’s a funny guy, so he began with a joke.
You ask about life lessons? I will tell you a story. A father talks to his son, and he says to his son, I want to talk to you about sex. And the son says, “Dad, what do you want to know?”
There’s your answer. We have to learn from the young and always stay curious. I had such convictions that I changed completely. Circumstances taught me that what I believed wasn’t so. One of my advantages is that I am willing to recognize change. In life, we are confronted with constant change, and you can’t be dogmatic. You see what happens with nations, what happens with people when they are dogmatic. You have to be open, be involved in new things.
Are you looking for answers to life’s big questions? How about advice on happiness, finding fulfilling work , love and marriage, or living a life without regrets? You’ve come to the right place! At the Legacy Project, we’ve asked more than 1200 older Americans to share their advice for younger people about how to live happier lives.
The book on the project was just published, and it will make a perfect graduation gift this spring!
Many of the elders looked at their long lives with a sense of humor. Here are a few of my favorites from the interviews with people ages 70 to 108:
Save your money, take care of yourself, play golf.
Stay out of trouble – and steer clear of other people’s wives!
Choose to be happy. I even wear my Clinique perfume called “Happy.”
Don’t wear a miniskirt when you’re sixty-eight.
God don’t like people that mess around where they ain’t supposed to be. I know he put it out there for you to do if you want to do it, but he don’t tell you to do it!
Well, I don’t think my life would have worked without God in my life because my husband is Mexican-Italian and I’m English-Irish, along that line, and if we hadn’t had God in our life, we just wouldn’t have made it.
I think stick with your beliefs but listen to other people’s sides. A couple of times I think I even voted for Democrats.
Learn new things, don’t sit back and stagnate. I’ve got to admit that we just got a new computer and it still terrifies me. I couldn’t even program anything and I’m a damn mechanic! And here comes an eight year old boy who can work it so well!
I’ve learned that it’s much easier to be positive than negative, it’s easier to smile than to frown, and when in doubt, eat chocolate!
Come join the conversation with the wisest Americans!