What would the wisest Americans like to tell today’s college and high school graduates? From our surveys of over 1200 older people (most in their 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond) here are a few gems for those heading out to college or to the “real world.” Like the elders themselves, their advice is by turns serious and funny. Pass these on to the graduates in your lives. Continue reading
Category Archives: Lists For Living
Superhero Grandparents – A Great Source of Wisdom!
For National Superhero Day, I think of grandparents! Mine were superheroes to me.
So let’s hear from June, 84. Her legacy to her grandchildren is this list of her life’s lessons. Perhaps we all should pass on a list like this! Continue reading
Gwen’s List for Living – Love, Enjoy, Trust
We are still so into our elders’ lists of their lessons for living, we want to share a few more. It’s amazing how many people sat down and summed up their advice for younger generations.
Today we hear from Gwen, 70, who provides an insightful – and sometimes unusual – list of life lessons. She tells us to embrace life with exuberance 
and joy, giving to others while not forgetting to take care of ourselves.
When I look back over my life, the most important things I have learned are:
I truly do create my own reality.
Be lavish in loving those close to me, Don’t hold back.
I am my ancestors, they are me, we are one.
My children are my crown, my grandchildren the jewels therein, my great grandchildren the pure gold setting.
There are times to keep my mouth shut no matter what!
Friends are precious – and they can be animals.
Beauty surrounds me as much as I allow and let it in, even in death.
Its so good to laugh, especially with those you love.
Respect others and be kind – it will take you far.
I have a soul and it can sing, when in nature with trees, flowers, and plants, it has a voice.
Gardens are heaven on earth.
I love and take care of myself; only then can I assist another, really love another, care for another.
Have fun, play, tell a joke, laugh, be silly, outrageous, every day, it keeps the doctor away.
To love myself, enjoy myself, trust myself, be good to myself. Then give of myself. Fill up first, never try to give out of an empty container, it just doesn’t work.
Words are life or death, choose wisely before opening mouth.
Harmony in a family is its greatest assest.
To remain flexible, in thought word and deed, and be ready to party at the drop of a hat!
To sing loudly and lustily even though I can’t carry a tune – it clears out a lot of cob webs in my mind.
There are second and third and fourth and on and on chances in life. Just keep on keeping on, it’s journey.
Solitude is warm soup on a cold day, to a hungry spirit.
I am the rock in the family now, and rocks don”t make a lot of noise. They just are.
Funny and Wise: George’s List for Living
Sometimes the elders find a way to combine good sense and humor with being a bit “on the edge.” Here’s a list for living from George, 81 – a self-described “notorious old geezer!”
Being a notorious old geezer myself, I decided to pass along these life lessons that I have learned:
1, Never build a house in a flood plain.
2. Anytime you’re offered a free lunch, turn it down. Chances are it’s someone selling time shares or rare coins.
3. Live BENEATH your income. And sock the surplus into conservative, interesting-paying investments.
4. Avoid all state and national lotteries. They’re a tax on the stupid.
5. Don’t smoke; it’s the No. 1 cause of shortened lives and aging morbidity.
6. Use credit cards and enjoy the 25-day float, but pay off the balances every month.
7. Exercise daily and vigorously (tennis is my passion).
8. Eat well, but sensibly, and maintain your normal weight.
9. Enjoy wide-ranging activities — books, concerts, plays, movies, sports, etc. They stimulate your mental, physical, and emotional powers.
10. Develop the art of critical thinking. Untested theories are just that — unproved theories.
11, And don’t give advice to people who don’t ask for it. And even if they do, be wary. Most people don’t want your opinion, just confirmation of their own prejudices.
Ten Tips from Nita: A List for Living
Here’s another “list for living” from one of the Legacy Project Elders. Nita, age 71, advises:
1) Be kind and generous
2) Nurture good friendships and good will with family, neighbors, coworkers, and others
3) Read, especially good literature and history
4) Live frugally, spending less than you earn
5) Take care of your health
6) Set aside savings and invest savings for your future and your family’s future
7) Establish the habit of supporting causes financially, those you care about, church or community, educational institutions, worldwide charities, medical research etc
8)Keep financial records in order
9) Don’t bore the younger generations with tales of living during the Depression
10) Leave instructions or make arrangements for your death
11) “Old age is not for sissies” but is nothing to fear
Five Tips for Happier Living from Liza
It’s been a while since we posted one of the elders “Lists for Living.” We love these organized lists, in which some of the 
Legacy Project elders were able to sum up a lifetime of wisdom in a few key points. Liza, 68, has some thought-provoking ideas for living the good life:
1. You will NOT experience regret over a decision to remain single and childless. Creating your own life can be as exciting as the predictable stresses (and even the joys) of the procreation and education of progeny.
2. Friendships should fit your emotional and intellectual needs. You should have many different kinds of friends – never depend upon just one or two. Understand that you, and thus your friends, should be expected to change over time. Llife is far richer if you vary the nature of your relationships – it is stifling to hitch yourself to/depend upon/share experiences with only one other person.
3. Always take advantage of an opportunity to have new experiences – travel, activities or in the realm of ideas. You learn as much from unpleasant experiences as you do from pleasureable ones.
4. Strive throughout your life to achieve a clear sense of who you are, what you want, what you want to be recalling as you die, and how you wish to be remembered.
5. Devote as much time as possible toward understanding the evolution and history of the universe and of humankind This long-range perspective makes you grateful and more generous.
A List for Living – From a "Notorious Old Geezer"
George, 81, wrote his lessons in a letter that combine good sense and humor with being a bit “on the edge.” Good advice from a self-described “notorious old geezer!”
Being a notorious old geezer myself, I decided to pass along these life lessons that I have learned:
1, Never build a house in a flood plain.
2. Anytime you’re offered a free lunch, turn it down. Chances are it’s someone selling time shares or rare coins.
3. Live BENEATH your income. And sock the surplus into conservative, interesting-paying investments.
4. Avoid all state and national lotteries. They’re a tax on the stupid.
5. Don’t smoke; it’s the No. 1 cause of shortened lives and aging morbidity.
6. Use credit cards and enjoy the 25-day float, but pay off the balances every month.
7. Exercise daily and vigorously (tennis is my passion).
8. Eat well, but sensibly, and maintain your normal weight.
9. Enjoy wide-ranging activities — books, concerts, plays, movies, sports, etc. They stimulate your mental, physical, and emotional powers.
10. Develop the art of critical thinking. Untested theories are just that — unproved theories.
11, And don’t give advice to people who don’t ask for it. And even if they do, be wary. Most people don’t want your opinion, just confirmation of their own prejudices.
The Old Cliches about Living the Good Life Apply: Miguel's List
Miguel, 76, tells us that tried and true wisdom pretty much gets it right.
Past generations had it about right. Most of the old cliches about living the good life apply.
One should eat healthfully, get a full night’s sleep, exercise regularly, set priorities, not sweat the small stuff, spend a lot of time with family.
Follow your heart, plan ahead, never look back with regret, give it your all, not take life too seriously, try everything — you only go around once.
Live beneath your means, make new friends, but cherish the old ones.
Admit mistakes, learn to listen, keep secrets, don’t gossip, never take action when you’re angry
Don’t expect life to be fair, never procrastinate, call your mother.
Most important: (1) choose your parents with care – they will provide the good genes and set you on the right path; (2) pick the right spouse — everything else pales by comparison.
Lessons Learned: John's List for Living
We welcome contributions of life lessons to the Legacy Project site. This wonderful list of lessons learned was sent to us by John,
age 76.
There are no definitive answers to any of life’s questions, but quality joy-in-life can be had in the pursuit of those answers.
Loyalty to one’s own personal beliefs and respect for others’ is the path to a serene life.
Family, country (maybe God if you are religious) need to be honored if one is to survive in an intolerant, unjust world.
Little things do matter and must be tended to so they don’t pile up to become complex things and more difficult to cope with.
Health and marriage must be treated in the same way…daily maintenance with occasional spoons full of sugar to make bad times go down.
You should listen more than speak, which is hard for us to do, so that takes practice.
You should find work that you will be content with because 40 years is a long time doing the same thing.
Heed the advice of your elders. They may not have all the answers, but they have had much more experience than you.
Experience can be a cruel teacher; learn from it.
Being cautiously pessimistic about life will make the sporadic good things that actually do happen seem even better.
You should not fret very long; all things pass. One way or another they will no longer be experienced.
Whether or not you believe in heaven and hell (religion) should not prevent you from being a nice person.
Injustice exists. Get used to it.
Jeremy's List for Living: Lessons for Work, Intimacy,and More
Jeremy, 72, offered this profound and interesting list of his lessons for living. A compendium of elder wisdom worth pondering!
Here are some of the things I believe I have learned about life:
1. The most important resource is time. Not money or material things. Because if you have time you can fix whatever is wrong. If you don’t then all the good things in the world won’t matter. So you need to take care of yourself and give yourself as much time as possible.
2. Learn what you are good at (and what you are not good at) early enough in life that you can build on these points later. Don’t kid yourself. Most people will go through a mid-life crisis of one kind or another. I certainly did. When you are in a period of drift it is good to know the kind of solution you are looking for.
4. Intimacy is much more important than most people think. A lot of people think of themselves as mentally and/or physically tough. Tough as nails—that is their self-image and the way they want others to think about them. But to have a complete, satisfying and fulfilling life there must be a soft part somewhere, even if only one other person (or even a pet) can see it.
5. What goes around comes around. Once again this is hardly original with me. But I have learned that life is full of surprises. Someone or something that you do not see as very important at a particular time may become very important later. Always act as if each person, each activity, each thing you come across is potentially important in the future.
6 .If you want to avoid getting stale, keep re-inventing yourself. Don’t be afraid to try new things, even if you are a basically conservative person. This is especially true for me now, approaching retirement, or at least semi-retirement. I believe that when a person retires he (or she) should do something completely different from what he has done before. That is so that it is understood as the beginning of something rather than the end. Nothing could be more depressing than sitting around waiting for the end.
7. Don’t expect everyone to love you. Life is full of difficult choices which are inherently zero sum games. Some of these you have to lose because it is more important for you that the other person wins. But there are some where you really do have to win. So don’t be afraid to step up and win.
8. Maintain your ability to compete. Everyone loses some battles. But if you are so depressed that you are unable to compete you will enter an inexorable down-spiral where some kind of disaster will be waiting for you at the bottom.
9. Know when to think ahead and when not to. Part of our cultural programming is to think and plan ahead. Am I saving enough money? Am I doing the right things for my children? But there are some, easily recognizeable situations where you really can’t predict the outcome. In a case like that you must discipline yourself not to think too far ahead. Just deal with what is immediately in front of you. Believe me, the situation will change.
10. The true measure of what someone brings to the table of life is what his or her descendants accomplish. It is nice that such and such a person earned millions of dollars or accomplished some incredible physical or mental feat. But the part of him or her that will go on afterward will be the children and grandchildren. So set a standard of accomplishment and appropriate behavior that will hold up—that will provide for you a legacy that is a lot more important than just giving them some money.