“Ask Amy” Readers Discuss “30 Lessons” and Marriage

I love reading the daily lessons from the wonderful nationally-syndicated advice columnist Amy Dickinson – “Ask Amy.” Amy printed a Valentine’s day column on the lessons for marriage in my book 30 Lessons for Living, that offered five tips from America’s elders for happy married life.

But it didn’t end there. Readers of this column (that appears in more than 400 newspapers) began to add their own lessons for marriage. In today’s column, there’s a wonderful list that I’d like to share with you – right in line with the elders in my book.

Dear Amy: I just had to offer a comment regarding your column that appeared on Valentine’s Day — the letter from Karl Pillemer of Cornell University regarding the secrets to a long, happy marriage.

I feel qualified to weigh in on this topic; my husband and I marked our 50th anniversary a few months ago. We actually met at age 14, in ninth-grade homeroom, and have been together ever since.

We feel truly fortunate to have found each other at such a tender age and to have had such a good run.

It was as if Mr. Pillemer had held a mirror up to our life.

We have talked many times about the importance of having the same core values, being friends first and lovers second, and never holding grudges.

Item No. 4 — talk to each other — has been a critical and valued part of our long relationship.

If we were to make any additions to the list, it would be the importance of a sense of humor.

Being able to laugh is essential — first at ourselves, and then at the absurdities of our everyday world.

We also try to always be aware of the needs of others and to be generous with our resources and our time.

Granted, life is not always perfect. But we know we are blessed.

The strength of our relationship has seen us through those “inevitable rough patches.”

We are grateful for each day together and do our best to spend them wisely.

Keep an eye on the “Ask Amy” column – more lessons may be coming!

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